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Recently a reporter reached out to me on Reddit asking for an interview on why I invest in precious metals. I thought it would be a good opportunity to write out some of the reasons I personally invest. When you talk to anybody, especially those who sell PMs, PMs are “a hedge against inflation” or…

The Aerial Maneuver “C’mon, f*ckface, let’s go for a test drive.” Felonious Monk and I had been going back-and-forth for more than a week about one particular silver VR6 Jetta in the inventory at Dishonest Used Car Dealership that had a clunk in its front suspension. He’d fix it, I’d test drive it, and the…

This is it, folks, the last part of the last story from my days at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. It’s been a hell of a ride, and I want to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my cold, black heart for coming along with me, laughing at my dumb jokes…

”I think it is all fixed for you.” ”That seems… extremely unlikely.” It had been a weird week at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. On Monday, a customer had stabbed the wrong pedal in our parking lot in their new-to-them 325i and gone through the plate glass window at the front of the building. Apparently this…

Things were quiet and tense around Dishonest Used Car Dealership in the weeks following the revelation that our Incompetent Tech Guy had been stalking The Diplomat. Both of them were gone, ITG to a holding cell and The Diplomat apparently into the aether, as no one had heard a word from her. None of us…

So, somebody thought I might be dead yesterday, (which, frankly, isn’t a bad guess) so I guess that’s my reminder to post something, lest someone send out a search party. It’s Monday morning, and I’m in my usual bad mood. Dishonest Used Car Dealership has a new pile of broken Mercedes-Benzes that need attention, and,…

”So, we’ve been pleased with your work, and that comes with some benefits around here.” I was sitting in Rom and The Amazon’s office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, getting my nine-month review. It should have been a three-month review, but like most things at our car dealership, it just kind of never happened. Rom:…

As you’ll recall from Part 1, we had more than a bit of a conundrum at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. I had a Volvo C70 on my hands that had burnt to a crisp, and it sure looked like might have been our fault. Rom and The Amazon had engineered a little scam to keep…

A flatbed tow truck pulled into Dishonest Used Car Dealership early on a drizzling grey Wednesday morning. On the back was an orange Volvo C70 cabrio, or more accurately, what remained of one. From the firewall forward the paint was charred an ashy grey and what was once the front bumper now oozed downwards toward…

It’s yet another rainy Wednesday, and I sauntered back from lunch. The sandwich shop in the strip mall next door had become such a frequent visit for members of the service staff that they had a Dishonest Used Car Dealership Special on the menu, which I had gleefully partaken in. I walked into my office…