Blog

“You gonna be out at your girlfriend’s this weekend?” “Yeah, we’re having a huge party. You should stop by, it’s going to be rad.” The Raver and I were in the break room at Dishonest Used Car Dealership eating lunch one scorching hot Friday. His girlfriend lived on an island west of the city, far…

”So, why is it that the red one is so much slower?” Mr. Ferrari, one of our salespersons, was in my office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, attempting once again to get me to fix something that wasn’t broken. MF: “I drove both the red one and the grey one over the weekend, and the…

”SERVER’S DOWN! SERVER’S DOWN!” It’s a Wednesday in August, and it is officially hot in my office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. We’ve got an air conditioner, but, of course, it doesn’t work. So, not only am I grumpy from the heat, but our Incompetent Tech Guy is running around like an idiot shouting something…

A couple doors down in the industrial park from Dishonest Used Car Dealership was a shop that built canoes and kayaks. We hated each other. When I got hired on as a service writer, the guy I was replacing pulled me aside and shared some wisdom, saying, ”Look, kid. There’s three things you gotta get…

”Dude, why do half the cars on the lot run like sh*t?” The Raver was in my office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, complaining. Usually complaining about our inventory was my job, so this meant that something serious was up. Me: “Well, we buy garbage, we put garbage parts on the garbage, and we don’t…

”Dude, it’s a mess.” ”How big a mess we be talkin’ about here?” ”Big. I don’t think it’s salvageable.” It was another sh*tty day at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, and I was standing in Colossal Redneck’s office, giving him a report on a Golf we had just gotten in. CR: ”Well, why don’tcha tell me…

Hey party people in the place to be. Since it’s a dumb fake holiday that celebrates doing dumb fake things to dumb fake people, today I’m giving you a story that’s maybe a little light on the tech, but it is sort of kind of maybe vaguely almost related to the holiday, kind of. ALSO!…

Mr. Ferrari rolled up into Dishonest Used Car Dealership’s parking lot his usual hour or so late, only this time, he was piloting something new. Rather than his usual 5-series, he had a brand new Land Rover LR3. Mr. Ferrari regaled us with what a superior off-roading machine it was, concluding with a direct assault…

It was yet another anonymous grey winter’s day at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, and I was sitting at my desk semi-consciously staring at my computer screen. There was a pile of paperwork on my desk that probably needed attending-to, but I hadn’t yet done anything productive all morning, and I wasn’t about to break my…

I was in my office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership one lazy Friday when my cell phone lit up with the caller ID for Rom. Why he almost always called my cell instead of my desk phone is a mystery for the ages, but I picked up. “Service, this is 36055512.” Rom: “Hey. Come out…